Saturday, June 25, 2011

Anger, one letter short

 This is pissing me off to no end. And i don't know exactly how to deal with it. The tourists that sit down and eat DON'T do it. The every now and then sit-down customers DON'T do it. Sit down customers that i have never seen before in my life DON'T do it.
Waving that fuckin finger at me. Only the EVERYDAY customers do it. And not all of them... a  few of them. And sometimes it's when i'm approaching them ANYWAYS with a pot of coffee. And THEN.... wanna tap that finger on their coffee cups like i'm a COMPLETE IDIOT and didn't GET the meaning of the WAVING finger!!!!!!!

Just by them coming in EVERYDAY i allready know that they are unstable... and i was ranting just TODAY about this to a local regular that does NOT wave their finger at me. My boss was still their... the afternoon shift was just beginning... she was fixin to leave soon ....and she came up behind me and gave me a hug... like it's okay... it's okay. I did feel kind of better, but....


It's NOT okay!!!!

These nut cases... it's only a matter of time!!!!!!!  That i go nuts on them!!!! Just one letter short!!!! One letter short!!!!!

50 Cent, This is Awesome

I'm a big fan of 50 cent. His song In Da Club has brought me much happiness years ago clubbin' and on the radio... and it still does. The DJ at the club knew i loved that song and played it every Friday and Saturday night i went. I went into a balistic, sexy, dance... queen... something, lmao. It was my ringtone for like a year.... years ago.

And now, this man, years later... is writing a book about something that seriously needs to be addressed.

Thank-you Mr. Jackson.... for the song... and this book.

They tell me 'Bye' for the day, yeah right.

I have noticed this with local regulars.... at any place i have worked.  Okay, they come in. Stay an hour or two, leave, and come back... to as many as three times a day.

So, they pay and  hold me up at the register with their agonizing, lengthy conversation. Shit, i'll stand there, talk, listen. But sheesh, they won't shut up, and i can't take no more, so i start pulling away..."okay, okay (smiling) see you a little later (smiling)..."   Most times they reply 'okay, little later' as i'm walking away.

But sometimes they say... "oh no, i'm gone for the day..." and go on explaining WHY they won't be back. So, i am forced to endure a little more of their can't shut the fuck up disease. And have to have a dramatic good-bye.... because... they won't be back again, that day, you see.

Finally, GOODBYE. Thank you Jesus they won't be back today, Thank you.

A few hours later, guess what........ HERE THEY COME AGAIN!!!!!!!!



Because.... BECAUSE i am working, i cannot ask.... WHAT THE HELL??  And they won't mention the earlier conversation we had about...... them not coming back today.

Is their NEED to have to TALK that bad to where they need to bullshit me a story... just so i stay next to them... and listen ... more longer????

I can remember as far back 30 years customers doing this. Some even detailed because that shit blows your mind and you can't forget.

They give you a lengthy story about NOT seeing you later. So you both put on the big smiley face "Okay, bye, see you tomorrow, have a great day... yeah, yeah... take care... yes, you too... bye bye..."

One time, and i knew it was best not to, because it IS a mental illness, whether Bipolar OR Narcissism or both... whatever... i asked. And i asked in my most super friendly smilely-est best way..... "Thought you said your not coming back today" As these words are coming out of my mouth, i am SO curious what the answer may be.

 The dirty look i got. NO Answer. Just as i thought. I predicted a dirty look. I predicted no answer.

And it's not like it's none of my business. I stood there a long time earlier in the day NOT caring about their business and forced to listen to it... so, i'm going to ask, what happened. WELL,WHAT HAPPENED?

Friday, June 17, 2011

Father's Day, or is it?

I notice this every Father's Day... mornings, at the Coffee Shop. Dad's coming in with their small child(ren). Mom nowhere in sight.

I understand that Dad and Mom could be divorced or broke up and Dad has the child(ren) for Father's Day.  But i'm talking about the ones that are married or together. And the Dad works out of the home Monday thru Friday or whatever.
If it's Father's Day, why is the Dad up early...coming into the Coffee Shop.... take-out or sit-down...struggling with his small child(ren). I see the exact same thing on Mother's Day.

No, i don't know their arrangements or their business. And it is none of my business. All i know is these men work out of the home all week and it's his day, Father's Day and he is out and about, early morning with small, vocal and active child(dren) buying donuts! He's stuggling to order, while hushing and/or chasing his child(ren).

Wouldn't it be nice of the Mom to take the kids out, get breakfast while the man slept in?  Who's Day is it anyway?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

She Made My Day

My co-worker made my day, today, at work. She came in to visit towards the end of my six hour shift. I don't normally say, tell, or repeat what my co-workers say about the customers because it is my Blog and i don't want to get them in trouble in case i'm ever found out... blogging, about work.

But, she was saying this when there were a few local regulars in there... so it's not really private conversation.

I don't know how the topic came up, but she was talking about, to me and the locals sitting around her... how when she wins the lottery... she is going to buy the Coffee Shop and have it bulldozed... never anything to be built on the land again. LMAO. She was so clear on how it would be gone... forever!

And she says how the whole place is full of crazies. The locals are just so quiet. They don't know what to think!  And i'm cracking up "-name- that is hilarious! That is just too hilarious. Reminds me of that movie 'Carrie'... " where the demonic house that 'Carrie' lived in is bulldozed ... the subject turns over to scary movies.

This lady is a veteran of that Coffee Shop. She has worked there a really long time and i simply adore her. It's because of her (and me venting on this blog) that i have not lost my mind. I tell her my horror stories, and vice versa.

I wanted to call her just a little while ago to tell her how she made my day. But i don't want to bother her. She is working the next three days while i'm off. I'm sure she is mentally preparing. She is older than me, and those three days are hell for her.

Still thinking about it when i was closed, i couldn't even count down my register, laughing out loud. The looks on their faces. 

Again, let me say. These local regulars are not poor or sick (well) individuals. A few have very well paying careers, some are retired from very well paying careers. They live in really nice, modest homes or condos. There's a couple of them that have never worked a day in their life and live off inheritances. Couple of eccentrics, million dollars in the bank, but look like they're broke and are odd to say the least.

And of course there are your average financially comfortable individuals.

And they all have one thing in common. They come in everyday, sometimes two, three times a day, sit an hour or two each time and have you cater them on their command. All that attention on 2 or 3 dollar purchases, less. They order a coffee for a dollar and will nurse that motherfucker for an hour. They take two sips off of it, see you are busy doing something else, and call you over to top it off.

That's a power tripping narcissist. They will sit there 30 minutes with that coffee, not one customer will come in, sit-down or take-out... and when you get busy, a little rush comes in, all of the sudden they want this, they want that. They love to see you squirm. They love to see the stress on your face.

Where... where else can they go to do this. Coffee Shops, Diners is a narcissists dream.

To an individual suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. Constantly paranoid, hearing voices. Where is he going to go? To a restaurant where he has to buy a meal for 15, 20 bucks and maybe hold the waitress up 5 minutes tops with his blabbering?  To a bar where he has to spend 10, 15 bucks more and what? talk to the bartender endlessly until a drunken eavesdropper starts a fight with him?

No, he goes to a Coffee shop or a Diner. Where he can order a coffee for a dollar, sit there for two hours, more and blabber his mouth to perpetual bliss to the waitress who is always nearby.

There's no debate that the everyday customers that come in suffer from some form of neurotic misery. But my profession is being a waitress, and i work at a restaurant, not a mental asylum.It would be literally impossible for me to ease their mental anguish one by one even if i wanted to. I have begged, seriously, for my boss to please pull them effing stools out of the floor. She laughs, 'i know, i know'

I like my co-workers idea better ... Bulldoze that mental asylum. 

Oh my God Ahhhh!!

  I SWEAR these local regulars are going to be the death of me. Seeing them EVERY single GOTDAMN DAY!!!!
They're BORED, they're NEEDY.  They sit there with their grandiose asses EVERY SINGLE day. Doesn't the sight of ME make them sick???????

Why can't they stay away at least on weekends when i am so busy, by myself after the REALLY EARLY  crew leaves at noon. They CAN SEE  how busy i am trying to wait on tourists that are spending REAL money at the take-out counter. They CAN SEE that they are taking up sit-down counter seats for the tourists that are spending REAL money.  

So much commotion on the weekends. They can see we are all struggling with the tourists, it is so busy. They can't find ANYTHING else to do?? At least on a Sunday??? Give it a GOTDAMN BREAK????  ONE day a week??? What THOUGHTLESS, self centered, irritating, parasites.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Better than Sunblock

Oh boy, an AOL news story pulled one over on me. Thought i'd log on, to see what's going on. I love those AOL headlines sometimes and this one really caught my eye New Way to Protect Yourself in Sun?

I Love being out in the sun, i'm a freaking Sun Goddess in the summertime... so hell yeah i'm interested in something better than sunblock?

Ohh, the anticipation is too exciting for me, what, what is it, i ask as i click on the What popular retailers on betting on.

It's now i am really close to the computer screen, i am so curious... what? Lemon juice? nah... shit, what? Regular lotion? It's loading...   ohh, i'm so curious, what could it be?

Here it is....

I pull myself back away from the computer screen, mouth open, making a face (like i'm eating something... yucky), look of confusion. and then i say it out loud... You mutherfackers.

These mutherfackers don't think i ALREADY know this??? Obvious... DUH. No shit... DUH.

Hey, i'm getting old, but i still have it. I'm letting my hair down, popping on those sunglasses and showing my arms and legs... i'll be damn if i'm gonna put on a dorky hat like that and those stretchy gramma... shorts... where's my daisy dukes!!!  Although i do like that middle picture, the dress? But not the hat!! And the tops are pretty, but i imagine the tan line... shudder... oh hell no. I got LOTS of sunblock, gravity has been good to me...couple of bikinis, ... i'm ready for the summer.

See, i told you they are nuts

Lol, see, i told you they are nuts. They sit all day, everyday, drinking coffee. They hear things... hence is why they can't stop talking... to drown out the things they hear in their heads.

I drink a lot of coffee too when at work. But i don't hear things. All i hear is a sweet voice... telling me... it's going to be allright.    

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Rihanna Knows

I have loved this song and Rihanna since it came out and when i saw the video, i thought... oh that is so me in the video. Especially lately with my customers. They have done drove me crazy.

What's wrong with me?
Why do i feel like this? I'm going crazy now.

You see, in the video, i am Rihanna. The 'scene' is the Coffee Shop. And the scary people are... well the local regulars of course.

Everything about the video and the lyrics are spot on to my day at work when i am agonized with the locals that come in everyday. I love the part in the video where Rihanna is struggling to free herself from the chains... she is struggling and pulling and yanking, but those customers... i mean chains... won't let go!!!

They can creep up inside you and consume you.

I have been rather bold too with them... Ain't gonna play nice....anymore.

Trying to maintain but i'm struggling.

I love that monster-y eye look Rihanna has behind the bars... oh... so me lately. I feel like a monster.

I overheard a local regular telling another local regular.... months ago... that i haven't been my bright cheery happy self lately. I looked over, they're smiling... i smiled, and said, 'i've been tired, that's all' ... when i really wanted to say  "Y'ALL DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!"

Weiner Cheater?

Don't know who this guy is. Never heard of him before a couple days ago. Politics. I don't know the first thing about it. But mennnn..... i know.

Watching it on tv today.  Believe it or not, i'm not gonna scream out Narcissist... or jerk.... but rather i'm gonna say this guy did get caught up in the rush... of the internet.

Before i go on, let me say this. The internet is NOT for the naive and inexperienced. There are a LOT of CRAZIES on dating sites and chat rooms, etc. DO NOT go and meet someone you do not know. They CAN hurt you.

As i was saying...

For the single man or woman, the internet can be a lot of fun. You chat, send pictures, pay each other compliments.... so exciting. Maybe even meet.  And as long as it's two consenting adults..... ain't nothing wrong with it. 

Ain't nothing wrong with it IF YOUR SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!

WHY???? Why get married if you wanna have this kind of fun????? WHY????

I'll tell you why they do it. Because they HAAAAVE to have someone. Big babies HAAAAVE to have someone...ANYONE... just to HAAAAVE that assurance they are not alone. Once married they're scaredy big baby asses feel... that guarantee... that they have someone.... someone that will not abandon them, not anytime soon at least.

With ANYTHING... for too long... gets boring. Not for all, but a pretty damn good high percentage... one or the other.... will stray.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Here, maybe this will keep your mouth busy

I have been a waitress for a long time. Many years. I seriously think it's taking it's toll on me. 

            Morning local regular would not stop talking to me... even as i'm waiting on other customers. I'm  getting more pissed by the minute as i'm grumbling 'uh-huh's' and 'yeahs' and out right just ignoring. The final straw was when he asked.. ' did you hear what i said?"  because i am not answering him.

Right after he said that, i went right over to the coffee, grabbed the pot off it's burner and went directly to him. As i'm pouring into his already almost full cup , i say "here... maybe this will keep your mouth busy"

He looks up at me, smiles. Believe me, the smile is just a moment reaction....The guy sitting next to him gasps... and laughs. Two minutes later blabber mouth gets up and leaves. I KNEW that he was going to do that. Because mental idiots get MAD when you ask them to stop...

It doesn't register in their minds that they are annoying. They certainly cannot take a hint or understand logic. As 'stupid' as they sound.... believe me...  these are very very clever .... monsters.

Well anyways i told the guy next to him (he comes in once in a while)  .... sorry, but he wouldn't shut up. The guy agreed and asks if he comes in often. Ha!!!  I say EVERY morning. The guy shook his head.

And this happened almost two weeks ago. Believe me, he still comes in... AND WON'T SHUT THE HELL UP.  Maybe he'll push me far enough where i will pour that coffee over his head.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Out of his Stupid Ass Mind

 Working a 12 and a half hour shift the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend, i had almost a full house of only LOCAL REGULARS one hour before i close. The day was SO busy and my boss earlier in the day... had asked one of the regulars to look at our lighting fixtures... but later in the day. Lots of fluorescent bulbs burnt out, wires... something something... ugh, i knew i wasn't going home at 5:30.     

Mr. Local Regular starts working on the lights about 4:30 We close at 5.  

So, it's 5 minutes to 5. Some of the regulars already left. But about 7 of the die hard hang-arounders are still hanging around. I'm thinking.... there is no way that they are thinking that they can stay... just because a local regular is staying to work on the lights?

I start ringing up their puny orders. Collect money. It's after 5 now. Get my keys. Go to the door. Hold it open. They not moving.

They SERIOUSLY think they can sit there!!!!!!   I yell out ... nicely  "Guys, please, it's after 5!"

One of them mumbles, getting up real slow "Oh, okay"  Oh okay??? Oh Okay???  GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!

So i'm standing there, holding the door open from the outside. Last of them (slow like a turtle) leaving gets to the door, outside, and puts his hands on the door pushing to close it so i can't go inside. He wants to talk because he wouldn't shut the fuck up the whole last hour i'm trying to clean up!! He is seriously, out of his STUPID MIND!!!!!!!

I PULL, i jerk that door open, squeezing past him... i frustatingly yell out "Omg, have a good day, bye!!  I go inside, lock it. Electrician still inside of course, i am cursing out loud.... F words and all...'can't get them the hell out... why????!!!!' I am asking out loud!   It's 15 minutes after 5. Christ help me... fighting with these idiots.

The day was so busy. I have been non-stop. Pure madness. 12 and a half hours, not sat down once. It's been like 85 degrees inside the shop  from the doors being opened and closed all day and that Texas heat is brutal. I am STINKING. Sticky, out of breath. I got sunburned bad the day before at a pool party and my brassiere... glued to my burnt shoulders and back.... ooh, pissed isn't the word.

Now i'm thinking... the local regular electrician i am locked in the shop with, without pay!... is NOTORIOUS  for won't, will not stop talking. I am thinking... God.... i'm going to go off on him. All these years, i am going... to go off on this guy. I am going to rip him to shreds.

But.... he was silent, and did his job for the next 45 minutes while i did some extra cleaning in peace.

 I haven't seen Mr. door pusher since that Thursday... 9 days ago! And today... he comes in.

See... see, how just can't get rid of them. I was PISSED the last time i saw him. Pissed at HIM, and he knew it.  I mean i literally threw my head back, jerked that door open and yelled... OMG!!!!

Christ! If i pissed someone enough like that i would die from embarrasment. I would apologize like hell to say the least. Most probably NOT show my face there again. But this guy... can't... won't go away, won't shut up.

In my next Post i HAVE to tell you what i told a blabbber mouth. I am getting braver and bolder. Or i could be losing MY mind.